music written by toby "radiation" fox



0. INTRO

EVERY DAY, A MILLION BABIES ARE BORN IN THE UNITED STATES ALONE. MANY OF THESE BABIES CLIMB OUT OF VAGINAS. OTHERS, THE STORKS BRING THEM. SOME ARE BORN OUT OF SLIME IN PARADOX SPACE THANKS TO A SPECIAL VIDEO GAME YOUR MOMMY USED TO PLAY. BUT REGARDLESS OF HOW THESE BABIES MAY BE BORN... THEY ALL COME INTO THE WORLD WITH A SPECIAL FORCE... CALLED LOVE.

THIS IS THAT STORY.

(ambulances fade)


1.   THROGUH SONG 


(police sirens)

john: hi im john egbert and OH MY GOD DAVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE FLOOR WRITHIN IN PAIN
dave: nothin, john... just ignore me... im not... pregnant
john: OH MY GOD DAVE... WHATS HAPPENED TO YOU
DAVE: im... im lyin.... i am pregnant
john: WHAT!!! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!! WHOSE THE FATHER
dave: the father... i cant tell you john
john: but... then... WHOSE THE BABY
dave: the baby john... is you
dave: your the baby
dave: all the babies
dave: all of them
JOHN: NO DAVE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JOHN: WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL
JOHN: ARE YOU SERIOUS THOUGH, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
dave: john i guess the only way you can understand is song





2.   IM HAVING A BABY, AND THE BABY IS YOU


BUM BUM BUM

i was sittin around, in the middle of the night
all bored with nothing to do

i called up my friend, he put some stuff in my end
taught him a hundred different ways to screw

i conksunked his boots, touched his imigrants
the chips had just started to fall

now after that night, i was given a fright
a babytummy shaped like a ball

DAMN JOHN!!!

im havin a baby and the baby is you
id birth my best friend its true

im havin a baby and the baby is you
koalababies up the avenue

im a havin a baby and the baby is you
my ovaries are out the wazoo

im having a a baby and the baby is you
ur gonna come out my hoohoo

john: BUT HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE
dave: i dont know... such is the magic of skaia
he entered all of my seven gates
he touched john
he prototyped my medium
and now my kernelsprite is rich with data
and... nwo.... your the baby

john: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

duet:

YOUR HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY IS YOU/ME
BIRTH MY BEST FRIEND ITS TRUE

HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY IS YOU
KOALABABIES UP THE AVENUE

HAVIN A ABABY AND THE BABY IS YOU
OVARIES ARE OUT THE WAZOO

HAVIN A BABY AND THE BABY WEARS SHOES
BABIES FLYIN OUT THE HOO HOO

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



3. bootes 

DAVE: OH MY GOD... john... THE BABY... IS A BABY.... IS A BABY
John: dave you're losing your water break, we cant go to the hospital now
DAVE: YOUR RIGHT HTERES NO TIME
DAVE: WE MUST GO TO MOUNT PROSPIT
DAVE: where i myself was born
JOHN: you were born in a lab dave and im your lab daddy
DAVE: ok shut up, dad, because your my baby now and youre the one that's going to have mantitties in your face
john: what?
dave: MANTITTIES IN YOUR FACe, MANTITTIES IN YOUR FACE
john: aww, gross! dave put your fucking shirt on
dave: MANTITTIES
john: i'm not even born yet that's not fair
dave: oh my god... someone needs to deliver this baby right now
karkat: I CAN DO THAT
john: karkat what the fuck are you doing
karkat: delivering babies... i did it once i can do it again.......
john: leave it up to me karkat
karkat: no... no i cant... your the baby.....
karkat: i must do this... i must be the... the midwife
karkat: john... theres some things you cant know
john: like what
dave: please just reach inside me and take this - 
KARKAT: LETS SING A FUCKING SONG


ONCE UPON A TIME ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN
A BABY WAS SITTING IN A WATER FOUNTAIN

HIS NAME WAS DAVE AND HE WAS SUPREME
HIS BOOTIES WERE COVERED IN PEACHES AND CREAM

AND THAT STORY TODAY IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT
I'M A TROLL AND JOHN I WANT TO FUCK YOU OUT OF HATE

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

dave: please sotp this singing shit, i need to have this baby... now...... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM







4. - ROSE PRAGNANT (feat. mia as rose)

JOHN: dave you need to hang in there
DAVE: AEAAAEEAAA
karkat: i dont get it... the baby just wont come out
dave: IM NOT READY... tehre are some things I have to clean up first

(car)

rose: i came as fast as i could

dave: rose i'm glad you're here.... i need to talk you about................. this........ big baby in my mommytummy

rose: undubitatably. i will embiggen my words less so you can understand me. i am the queen of books.

dave: lets not talk. lets.... sing....... like old times

rose: no, strider. the truth is.... im pregnant. i cant sing.

john: ROSE!!!!!!!!!

dave: it's... its only fair....

rose: besides singing is passe for those of a caliber like ours. let us engage in that ancient art far superior..... rap




5. - the rose rap (feat. von fawn as rose)


roserap:



strider let me break it down like this for you

there once was a violet femme fatale
whose violent violin sung sweet without

the tables of a boy who turned tricks and treats
like icy halloween breeze/ so fresh were his beats


but alone they were weak
no revolution
together - overtime
there was an evolution

they met on the net and there was a fusion
like danimals yogurt breakfast frusion


hearts
and minds
and souls
and hearts
they loved each other you bag of farts

they promised to be each others baby mommy daddy babies
but now theyre both caught in their lies
their fingers in another persons pies
guilty of another person's scabies



CHORUS (SUNG):


strider
heart to heart
dont treat me like a fool

you may have played me
but my heart waylayed me
i wanna be your baby mommy too



daverap:
rose i know how you're feeling, i know your emotions
i want you to know i mirror your devotion
you dont see this kind of depravity on the serengetti
whoops there goes gravity, moms spaghetti

i screwed up, i fucked up, i got screwed and fucked
im the baby of bad choices and my little legs are tucked
i wanted to be true, make you a faithful hubby
but you know i cant do, it's just too much trubby

we're related rose, thats the problem, not the other
we cant be baby mommy daddies because your my sis and im you're brother
i have the feelings your feeling, we share the same idea
and i know i screwed up and probably caught gonohrrea

but the truth of it all yo is that.... rose it would have never worked
and i hope you forgive me
because... actually... im having this baby now
i want to say im sorry and that i want to be.......... with you
and that what i did was wrong
and you can be its mommy and we can get married
and not worried about retarded babes

do you agree

roserap: yes dave.......... oh yes..................... take me away...........


CHORUS

CHORUS X 2 with harmonies


ROSE: DAVE I LIED.... IM NOT PREGNANT..... IM JUST FAT................
dave: oh rose.............. i dont care........... being pregnant might be against the rules of the mpsa forum, but this isn't...........


(worst makeout sounds ever)

karkat: im going to throw up
john: gross!!! everyone cover your eyes!!! the two naked incestuous pregnant teenagers are..... KISSING!!!!!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


6. uh oh

LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE OK

bro: dave im going to eat ur baby


7. vs bros

dave: bro i dont want to fight you. i just want to have my baby in peace.

bro: hah! too bad, ash ketchum! im gary motherfucking oak and i'm hungry for babies so get goddamn shoveling!

bro: i'm the king of everything under the sun
im just like parappa except i like hot dog buns

im gonna beatdown your butt
ill contention your face

ill eat all the babies in the human race

john: why would bro say something like that

dave: i dunno. he's never tried to eat my babies before!

bro: shut up your face dad, im totally me
eatin apple jacks is the way to be

haha! how does it feel to be shut down by my superior rapping techniques

i will show you the power of the forbidden rhyme - the words that rhyme with THEMSELVES


john: this is entirely unimpressive

bro: you have yet to see my true power

huaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

dave: actually this is retarded

im going to bed

bro: YOU CANT GO TO BED

actually im out of batteries so i'm going to die



8. A BABY IS BORN (feat. artemis251 as luigi, chorus singer, kid, and hella jeff)

KC GREEN: HEY KIDS,,, THIS IS KC GREEN AND IT'S TIME FOR THE GUNSHOW SINGALONG SHOW I HOPE YOU ALL GOT YOUR FACES READY TO SING A LITTLE TUNE HERE

LETS GO


all: I'm having a baby and the baby is you
I'm having a baby and the baby is true
Greetings Andrew Hussie this is Radiation
How high do you have to be

pretty goddamn high


havin a baby and the baby is you (is you)
the baby is true (is trueeee)

OHHHHHHHH IM HAVIN A BABY
AND ITS GONNA BE AWESOME WHEN I HAVE A BABY

dave: omg its happening
IM HAVIN THIS BABY
IM HAVIN A BABY
ALL OVER YOUR FACE
AHFSAHFJHAGJKHAGKJHS
fjsahfkashgkjhagjks

luigi: actually this is pretty gross

arty: PUSH PUSH PUSH

mia: i came

dave: it's beautiful its beautiful
your beautiful
john youre a beautiful baby

john: I LOVE BEING YOUR BABY/ IM THE BABY. IM THE BABY, ITS ME

AND WE ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

mia: i came as fast as i could





special thanks -----------

**mia --> being at fault for everything/art/rose
**fawn --> singing rose and actually doing the CD thing
**artemis251 --> being chill bro and singing along with the last song
**xander --> immoral support
